Roaming Roaming Roaming

Things To Think About Next Time You're ROAMing:

We've all heard that old saying that "life's a journey, not a
destination." But if every journey were really that mesmerizing, would we
really bring along such a vast cache of radios, satellite radios, magazines, seek-and-finds, crossword puzzles, books, coloring books, comic books, books on tape, audiotapes, videotapes, CDs, DVDs, travel games, GameBoys, Game Cubes, PlayStations, X-Boxes and laptops?

Well, beloved reader, next time your mind starts to wander on the road, on the water, on the rail, or in the air, take a moment to notice the little things that are happening all around you. During any journey, big or small, there's a universe of fantasies, daydreams, musings, observations, thoughts, truths, wonders, hypocrisies, contradictions and out-and-out lies flying past with you each passing mile.

  • Americans are well-known for having a love affair with their cars. But if your kid walks in while you're working on your car and you throw a sheet over the hood, your relationship with your vehicle may be a little too intimate.
  • Most drivers view using their turn signals as a sign of weakness.
  • Car radios turn themselves up when you turn off the ignition.
  • It's physiologically impossible to see a shoe laying in the road without saying "Hey! There's a shoe!"
  • Your odds of winning the Powerball Lottery are better than your
  • All airlines tell you "In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device." What that really means is that the airlines can save money by picking up all the floating seat cushions and putting them in another plane.
  • How come airlines don't serve popcorn during in-flight movies?
  • Airline personnel generally frown upon your carry-on bag being a parachute.
  • If your hotel room has a smoke alarm with a snooze bar, find alternative lodging.
  • It takes more than Pop Tarts and a pack of Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa on your pillow to make a hotel into a bed and breakfast.
  • Whoever landed the Gideon Bible hotel contract is one very, very, very rich man.
  • It's always fun to stand in a partially submerged canoe in an open channel and fool passing boaters into thinking you're walking on water.
  • It's worth getting a houseboat just to be able to go up to anyone on the lake and tell them to get out of your yard.
  • Do you think people put graffiti on trains so they can say their work is part of traveling exhibit?
  • At any outdoor public event, the last person you'd want to see without
  • If a uniformed policeman is seating patrons at an all-night
  • You know it's hopeless to resist Wal-Mart & McDonalds when even seagulls show up there - and it's nowhere near the ocean.

We guarantee next time you're headed out, you'll think about some or all of these. If you're lucky and remember to pack your imagination, maybe you'll come up with some of your own to add to the list. And when you get down to it, isn't that the ultimate beauty of traveling? Giving your mind and your imagination the freedom to wander... to roam... anywhere it feels like going.

by Burt Dellinger